Relationship

So i assume that people's who is still reading my blog, should have already know that i'm attached after 6months. Just let me rant everything for once, because these feelings is staking higher and higher & i've no idea where to pour it out. I would just pray that my boy isn't going to read this space of mine, which i believe he doesn't.

People around me might that that my relationship is really a successful ones'. Or should I put it in a way that ' Peoples think that we're both happy '. I won't deny the fact that I am happy, but not in every-way it should be. Honestly, to me right now, Being ' In a relationship ' is just a status for both of us. But infact.. We ain't like others. I'm not sure if im just too used to all my past relationship & this is a new experience for me or this is a more mature-d relationship. I am really trying my best to maintain the way he wants it. I dont really show my concern to him, neither do i take the initiative to start a converstation first. He is always the one messaging me and give me a call, suggesting to meet me. I just somehow, forgotten how to be a ' girlfriend '. Friends around me has been advising me what should I do, say, be. But i just can't help it. I really never had these kind of  ' fear ' doing something i wanna do. I use to sweet-talk my bf, send them morning and night textes, Or i would just suddenly pop a message to them to remind them that they've cross my mind. Or even call up to check & concern regarding where they are. But this relationship, i don't do it. I really don't know if im afraid he might think that im irritating or whatsoever. Bbygirl told me that, everyone would occasionally wna feel ' loved ' so i believe he does want it too. But i really don't know how to show it anymore.

I want him to stay real badly. I perservance every little ups & down in us ( before we gotten together ). I tolerated all the nonsense & rumours i've heard. I was so afraid that things would change if i choose to giveup. True, there are times i was on the verge of giving up, but somehow, i still choose to stay. I would say, alot of things between us have really change, be it before or after getting together. 

You just dono how happy i was when he asks me to be his girl. I almost screamed out at home.

Now.... Im just feeling really mixed up, its like my thoughts are running wild and i can't find an answer to myself. Why am I like this? Honestly, i really hate myself for feeling so negatively even though we're together. Its not his fault, its mine. We don't argue, We dont fight. Instead, we tease & disturb eachother. I'm forever like this, tiny changes can make me go crazy. But im glad i've been hiding my feelings well through facebook & twitter. But i just can't hide it from my bbygirl. Shes the one i always rant every single little things to. 

I just feel that this relationship is just so different, OR AM I TOO PARANOID ? 

Okay la, i also think im ranting rubbish because i believe no one understand what am talking. 

Just hope, everything will go smoothly for us because now is Honeymoon period. :D

Girl'souting.

Back to blogging's life since im so bored everyday. Im just wasting my life away practically. So the top photo, it was on the 25thmay, midnight. Went in Malaysia with my 2dear girls & Roy & kangkang. Suppose to meet at 10.30pm. But due to my piggish-ness, I slept till 11pm & done prepared around 12am. So Roy drove in & we went in to have loklok & some other food. We were all famished & there is still traffic jam @ the custom. Headed over to those petrol stations & brought chewing gum back to Singapore. & then i was really tired but i gotta head back to workplace. So Roy drove me back to workplace first before sending the rest home. Stayed till 7am & Nigel drove me home. Chanced upon Yx at my house busstop. Chit-chat & accompanied him to wait for bus. Home sweet Home, bathed & sleep. Oink ~

Taken on 28thmay.

Headed home from workplace around 1.30pm & rush home to prepare to meet my bbygirl. We actually took the MRT. We have always been cabbing around the whole Singapore. Okay, so we trained down to Batok & took bus 61 over to a Wulu place to collect the customized cake i did for my boy. We were so lost & call up the company to check wheres the exact location. After following their direction. WE REACHED A STUPID BACK ALLEY. But afterall, we still manage to seek our way over to the shop. I can say their cake are nicely customized & this is the first time i've make a order for cakes. I wanna thanks JinPeng for introducing me this shop or else i will  be having a hard time finding as i've only like 1 and a half week left to his birthday. The weather was really killing us, so guess what? We cab back home :D Send bbygirl over to workplace & i went straight home, bath & sleep. Wokeup around 10pm & started to prepare everything & waited for my bbygirl. Cab over to Panjang to surprise my boy. But i believe he alrdy expected this surprise lah ~ I also wantu thanks TOH WEELEONG for helping us to be spy, hehe. After everything, bbygirl went back Yewtee to meetup with the usual people while i stayed at panjang to have kekou mian with the boys. Headed straight home bathed & sleep.

 Taken on 29thmay.

Went home from workplace ard 1.30pm again ( -.-' ) bathed & prepared and meet my bbygirl again ( -.-' ), headed over to the bank to change my card & apply the new ibanking thingy. Walked around Yewtee but we're so bored of kampong's food. So we bus over to Lot1 & have our Pastamania. So bloated ~ & i really cannot go out with this girl anymore, muahah. Because i apparently cannot stop shopping when im with her. She doesn't have the fierce look which can stop me from spending money. Afterward, as usual, went to have heart2heart talk with her agn ( -.-' ) LOL. & bus back home around 8.30pm & nua awhile before preparing to meet my boy. Back home around 2am & wanted to head back to workplace after bathing. After preparing, I was so reluctant to step out of house. So i change up & went to OINKOINK.

Wokeup at 10am by my stupid alarm clock again. Spammed whatapps & nua at home till 11.30am & started preparing before meeting my deargirls at town. Met bbygirl at lot1 interchange first and 190 down to Somerset to meet Celia. Had KFC for lunch and over to Cineleisure to have my tee's size changed. Back to 313 to meet Dajie & mrt down to Potong Pasir for my 2deargirl interview. Hope their 3weeks job is going to go smoothly & we can go shopping together agn after they've gotten their pay. Hehe. Than we headed over to the nearest kopitiam & watch Dajie have her lunch/dinner. Sat there and chit-chat again! & decided to head down to Bugis for alittle stockup for wardrobe AGAIN ( -.-' ) Omw down to bugis, i keep repeating to myself that im not going to spend a single cent over there. But guess what? Bbygirl & me spent the most & have tuckloads of plasticbag on our hand. This month really is 吃草 liao loh. Really had lotsa fun with the girls. & than, among the 3 of the girls, one of them actually suggested to go Ladies' night. LOL but they change it to nextwednesday instead. Because all of us were really tired after walking for the whole day.

Mrt back with everyone & went seperated way afterward. Reached home & myboy called & wanted to meet. But i've work, so endup not meeting. So i went to prepare & bath & GUESS WHAT? I skipped work again & headed to Yewtee to meet bbygirl & usual peoples. So i thought ' Aiya, since already left house, might as well go work '. So after they had their supper, i walked to workplace. 5mins later, I went back home. I really dono what am I thinking yesterday, goodnesszxz. Went back home, washedup & oinkoink again. 

Took this neoprint with the girls @ Bugis. I think its been 3-4 yrs since i took one. So we went to try it out. & the price in the past during our generation was like $6-$8 for a machine. But now.... its $13!

Thanks everyone for their blessing.

Does good things always end fast?

Why is it that always when things starts improving and someone would just appear and break everything?

We always asks eachother, whats going to be the reason for our argument infuture? 

I guess we both have gotten the answer.

No one wants it to be this way, but everyone have their own limit of tolerance. I can choose to close one eye. But after knowing every tiny bits of how he backstab me, put yourself in my shoes.

Did i ever say that i dont allow my friends to be his friend? Dont assume and define it as an answer.

Stop your childish mindset, stop your sarcastic tone, stop your way of threatening.

After everything ended 6 months ago, its you who say you wanna still be friends. But now? Have you ever treated me as a friend. I really thought you have a mature mindset after being released, really. But after everything that happen today, you just prove to us that you're still the same old-(you). Thats why its always better to remain as stranger after ending a relationship. You told me you think you owe me am apology after everything, but? does it make any difference? you still continued to backmouth me and backstab me. Seriously, before you define me as unreasonable, PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES.

You don't have to make me sound like im the badperson, like im the one stirring everything.

At least, i admit im in fault. FOR not being tolerating enough & explode and rant everything out.

I usually have no problems in friendship, but because of you, problems keep coming in. If i didnt let her know you, would things be like this now? AHHHHHHH.

FUCK IT.